Does It Matter Who Texts First in a Relationship?

Texting is already a staple in today’s relationship. But, what used to be a low-pressure and quick way of communication has now transformed into a common source of devotion, affirmation, confusion, anxiety, and fury.

The relationship landscape is surrounded by rough waters filled with all sorts of questions and concerns. One popular topic of discussion is who should text who first.

But, more than who should text first, there is probably one more crucial question – does it even matter who texts first in a relationship?

During the early stages or first few months of a relationship, couples are often too aware of who initiates every text. This is why when the relationship progresses, when only one person starts all contacts all the time, it might indicate that there is something wrong. This is why it doesn’t really matter who texts first in a relationship. Instead, it is more ideal that both partners initiate contact with the same or equal frequency. There might be a problem if they are unbalanced.

While it doesn’t really matter who texts first in a relationship, there are still a few definitive rules in texting that guys and girls should know.

Guys: You Should Call Before You Start a Texting Relationship

It is a must for guys to text first during the start of the courting process or before and after your first and second date. This should be done preferable once daily or every couple of days if the girl is for keeps.

Before you can become daily texting buddies, make sure you ask her out on a legitimate date. You can call her to make some definitive plans prior to starting a textual relationship. While you might not be the phone person type of guy, an old school phone call can make you stand out from other guys.

This initial call should be out of the way right from the get-go then plan a date with her so that she is aware how you think about her. After you are done with this verbal contact and you have a more concrete future plan, you can go back to being textual again.

Girls: Wait for the Guy’s Text First After Your First Date

The guy should always be the one to text first after the first date. Ladies, it is best to avoid texting guys first when you just had your initial meeting. If both of you exchanged numbers, let the man text you first. Give him your number first by all means instead of getting his. If he doesn’t ask for your number first, there is no way the relationship will get any further.

Guys: Text a Few Times During the Day

Guys, your best time to shine is during the first several days after you start flirting via text. One thing that you should know is that if a girl doesn’t hear from you at all, she will think that you are not into her.

Further Reading:

Mastering the ‘No Contact’ Rule for Making Him Miss You

The Dos and Don’ts of Playing Hard to Get

Learn the 5 Surefire Ways to Make Him Chase You!

5 Foolproof Ways to Make Him Do Anything You Ask

Now, it doesn’t mean that you should harass the girl daily with your stories or spend your whole day glued to your phone screen. If you are really into a girl and there is a good rapport going on, by all means, send her a text at one point during the day.

An ideal way of navigating the text flirt is to send some funny comments depending on things that the two of you have experienced together in real life. But, while emojis are cute to use to show your point, avoid being too caught up in the trap of emoji exchange. They can be charming at first but can grow tiresome after you send the fifth face palming monkey.

Guys: Don’t Try to Text Her Just to Get to Know Her More Intimately

More personal questions are best asked face to face. The best kinds of texts are fun texts. In fact, it is perfectly fine and even more preferable if your text messages are just about those silly parts of your day to day life.

It could be something funny like seeing a man with a pineapple-like hairstyle or a Justin Bieber lookalike riding the subway. These are great topics for text conversations. It is just downright awkward to talk about how your sister was kicked out by her husband and other more intimate details about her life. These topics are best saved for other dates or better yet, should be discussed exclusively within your own family.

Guys: “Define the Relationship” Talks Must Happen in Person

It is much better to talk about where the relationship is going during an actual conversation in person. Nothing is worse than asking a girl to be your girlfriend using shortcut texts. If an in person conversation is not possible, at least try to ask it through video call.

Guys: Don’t Text After 11 P.M.

When you text her after this time and she still responds, everything is good. However, unless you already classified the girl as booty-call, text messages after 11 P.M. scream sext. Take note of this, ladies.

Girls: You Should Initiate 1 Text for Every 3 Texts That a Guy Initiates

During the early stages of the dating or wooing process, if you are an old school girl, it is always good to just let the guy send the first text. This will show some effort on his part and helps him step up a bit that might also translate to other areas of the relationship.

This is something super important that guys should understand. There are some men who complain that girls never reach out to them. Unless expressed otherwise, you should consider it as one of your duties as the man to reach out to a girl first.

Once again for the old school ladies, after going out thrice or four times, you can now feel free to start initiating text first. It will tip the scale on his side but if you remain a passive texture and it has been only a minute since you started dating, he might assume that you are not at all interested.

While it doesn’t matter who texts first in a relationship, make sure you take note of some of these tips and rules to have a great relationship ahead.