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How Do I Get out Of a Controlling Relationship

In a controlling relationship, one partner exerts power and control over the other. This can manifest in many ways, including but not limited to: making all the decisions, being overly critical, withholding love or affection, being physically or emotionally abusive, or using manipulation and coercion to get what they want. If you’re in a controlling relationship, it can be difficult to see a way out. But it is possible to break free from the cycle of control and abuse.

how do i get out of a controlling relationship

The Signs of A Controlling Partner

There are several signs that may indicate you are in a controlling relationship.

One sign is if your partner frequently puts you down or criticizes you. This can be done in front of other people or in private. Your partner may also try to control what you wear or how you look.

Another sign is if your partner is always trying to control where you go and who you see. They may want to know where you are at all times and get angry if you don’t answer their calls or texts right away. They may also try to keep you from seeing your friends or family.

If you find yourself always having to justify your actions to your partner or always having to ask for permission, this is another sign that your partner is too controlling.

The Effects of Being in A Controlling Relationship

A controlling relationship is one in which one partner has more power than the other. This can be due to many factors, including but not limited to: physical size, strength, or ability; mental prowess; economic advantage; social status. The person with more power may use it to control their partner in various ways, including but not limited to: making all the decisions, dictating what their partner can and cannot do, controlling all the finances, or physically abusing their partner.

What Will You Pick?

The choice you make will reveal your personality

Being in a controlling relationship can have many negative effects on the victim/less powerful partner. They may feel like they are not really living their own life and are instead living under someone else’s control. This can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and worthlessness. In extreme cases, it can even lead to suicidal thoughts or actions.

Why It’s Difficult to Leave a Controlling Partner

It can be difficult to leave a controlling partner for several reasons. For one, people in controlling relationships often feel like they can’t do anything right. Their partner may criticize them constantly, which can erode their self-confidence. They may also feel like they’re being monitored all the time and their every move is being scrutinized. This can make them feel trapped and even paranoid.

Another reason it can be difficult to leave a controlling relationship is because the controller often tries to isolate their partner from friends and family. They may do this by making negative comments about the people in their partner’s life, or by outright forbidding them from seeing certain people. This isolation can make it harder for the victim to reach out for help, and it can make them more dependent on their abuser.

Finally, abusers often threaten their partners with violence if they try to leave. This threat of violence is sometimes real, and it makes the victim afraid that they will be seriously harmed or even killed if they leave. Sometimes abusers will even threaten to hurt their partner’s children.

Steps to Take to Leave a Controlling Relationship

If you’re in a controlling relationship, you may feel like you’re trapped and don’t know how to get out. But there are things you can do to take back control of your life. Here are 5 steps to take to leave a controlling relationship:

First Step: Acknowledging that You’re in A Controlling Relationship

The first step in getting out of a controlling relationship is acknowledging that you are, in fact, in one. This can be a difficult thing to do, because it can be hard to see the signs when you’re deep in the situation. However, there are usually some telltale signs that you’re being controlled:

  • Your partner dictates what you wear or how you look.
  • Your partner is always jealous or accuse you of cheating.
  • You’re not allowed to go out without your partner.
  • Your partner decides when and where you have sex.
  • You have to account for your time to your partner.
  • Your friends and family have expressed concern about your relationship.

If any of these sound familiar, it’s time to take a step back and assess your relationship.

Second Step: Examining Your Own Role in The Relationship

When it comes to getting out of a controlling relationship, it’s important to take a step back and examine your own role in the situation. Oftentimes, we can get caught up in the dynamic of a relationship without realizing that we’re enabling the other person’s behavior.

There are a few key things to look at when trying to assess your role in a controlling relationship. First, ask yourself if you’re always the one giving in or making concessions. If you find yourself constantly bending to the will of your partner, it’s likely that you’re enabling their control. Second, think about whether you’ve lost touch with your friends or hobbies outside of the relationship. If you’ve become isolated from your support system, it may be harder to see and address the problem.

Finally, reflect on how you feel inside the relationship. Do you always feel anxious or on edge? Do you feel like your partner’s happiness is more important than your own? Do you feel like the relationship is a burden or a drain on you? These are all signs of a controlling relationship.

Third Step: Communicating with Your Partner

If you’re in a controlling relationship, you may feel like you’re always walking on eggshells. Maybe your partner is always putting you down or making demands that you can never meet. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to take action.

One of the most important things you can do is communicate with your partner. This can be difficult, but it’s essential if you want to make things better. Talk about what’s going on and why you’re unhappy. Be assertive and honest about your feelings.

Your partner may not be happy to hear what you have to say, but it’s important that they know how you feel. If they’re truly committed to the relationship, they’ll be willing to work on making things better. If not, then maybe it’s time to move on.

Fourth Step: Setting Boundaries

In a controlling relationship, your partner may try to control how you spend your time, who you talk to, and what you do. They may also try to control your emotions and make you feel like you are not good enough. If you are in a controlling relationship, it is important to set boundaries.

A boundary is a line that you draw that separates what is acceptable from what is not. For example, you may need to set a boundary with your partner about how they speak to you. If they are always putting you down or making you feel bad about yourself, that is not acceptable. You can tell them that their words are hurtful and that you will not tolerate that kind of treatment.

It is also important to set boundaries around your time and space. You need to be able to do things on your own and you also need to have time for yourself. If your partner is constantly wanting you to spend all of your time with them, or if they are always checking up on you, that can be an issue.

Fifth Step: Ending the Relationship

When you’re in a controlling relationship, it can feel like you’re stuck. You may be scared to leave, or you may feel like you can’t do anything on your own. But it is possible to get out of a controlling relationship. Here are some steps to take:

  1. Talk to someone who can help. If you’re feeling unsafe or like you’re being controlled, tell a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. They can help you make a plan to stay safe and get out of the situation.
  2. Get support from others. There are many organizations that can help if you’re in an abusive situation. Find one near you or look online for resources.
  3. Create a safety plan. This plan will help you get out of the situation safely. It includes where you will go, how you will get there, and who you can call if needed.
  4. Leave the relationship. You might be scared to leave, but it’s important to do so safely.


In conclusion, if you are in a controlling relationship, it is important to be honest with yourself and your partner. Talk about your concerns and work together to create a healthy relationship. If you are unable to do so, then it may be necessary to leave the relationship.

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