You have liked this guy a lot but this time around, you need distance yourself from him. Moving on requires a great deal of emotional strength and willpower, something that not all women have. Things become even tougher if the guy refuses to let you go.
Worry no more because this article will teach you how to distance yourself from a guy in the best possible way that benefits both of you.
Know the Real Meaning of Distance
Before you start to distance yourself, first, it is important to know the difference between putting an emotional distance and being rude. There are girls who seem to think that distancing means being aloof, emotionally unavailable, or emotionless. However, these are far from being the same.
There are times when it is important to distance yourself if you don’t see any future with the guy or you think you are just wasting your energy and time on them. If you cannot see your future together, you need to start pulling yourself away for you to move on the healthier way.
Let Yourself Heal First
You need to respect and love yourself first if you want others to do just that. Start to make small changes that can improve the way you feel about yourself. Go to the gym or start a new hobby or make new friends.
Just do whatever you feel like doing. This can bring back the self-confidence you lost and help your rediscover the true person that you are. Retrace your steps back to the old you and remember that while it won’t be easy and quick, it is crucial. It might even help if you take note of the things you want and those that make you happy so you can determine the right steps you should take to get there.
Without Making It Obvious
There are times when you may need to distance yourself from someone, but don’t want to make it too obvious. You can take subtle steps to create some space between you and the other person without completely cutting them off.
For example, try not to spend as much time with them or respond as quickly to their messages. If they ask if something is wrong, be honest and tell them that you need some time alone. You don’t have to give a reason, just let them know that you’re not feeling comfortable around them right now. Hopefully they will understand and respect your decision.
Identify Things That Keep You Attached
You have to know the reason why you find it hard to let go. Find the root of the problem. Tell yourself that there is a reason why you need to distance yourself from this guy. No matter what it is that draws you to him is no longer enough for you to stick around. If you want to be successful in distancing yourself from a guy, you need awareness at heart.
Take a Step Back
Any kind of relationship requires a breathing room. Whatever your specific situation might be, it is important to take a step back even when your insecurities are telling you exactly the opposite. Pay attention to that voice in your brain telling you to take a step back and move through your hurt and pain. Accept that what you had with the guy was real and that you will feel hurt if you need to keep your distance. It can be a hard thing to do when you have been emotionally attached to the guy but this is an important thing you should do.
If you liked the guy, chances are you poured your whole soul and heart into the relationship. It doesn’t matter if you dated for a few months or you were married for years because it will hurt. Be objective about the situation and use your brain to think, not your heart.
Cut Off All Communication Lines
You might want to stop all communications that you have with the guy if you can. If this is not possible, the least you can do is to reduce it significantly. You will find it hard to distance yourself from a guy if you continue keeping in touch with him.
It also includes even indirect communications. When you continue to stay in touch with him, it will be harder for you to keep a distance between the two of you. Don’t stalk him in social media and don’t post photos if your goal is to entice him to look at him. You might also want to discourage your mutual friends from sending or receiving messages from or to him.
Don’t Hide Your Emotions
Similar to volcano, you will erupt sooner or later if you let your emotions bottle up inside you. And just like a volcano, the moment you let these emotions build, an explosion will occur that can make you end up destroying yourself.
It is never advisable to be a volcano. Make sure you healthily express your emotions. Spend time with your family, go out with your friends, or try new hobbies. You need a self-mending and healthy way of releasing all those pent-up frustrations you have inside.
Turn to Your Support System
It doesn’t matter if it is your family or friends because you will need a good support system that you can fall back on. They are the ones who will let you vent out all your emotions and help you make it through such a traumatic time in your life. In case you don’t have family and friends to turn to, you can always seek advice online or even professionals such as counselors
Ditch the Idea of Friendship
When it comes to distancing yourself from a guy is concerned, staying as friends is never an option most of the time. More often than not, it is downright foolish to remain as friends. While things might have ended on neutral terms, it doesn’t automatically mean that the two of you can be friends. After crossing the finish line, things should now be closed off. You can be friends only after both of you already had enough space and time to heal yourselves.
It is not a simple thing to try to distance yourself from a guy, especially if he used to be a special person in your life and is probably still is. It doesn’t matter what your reason might be for keeping distance because there is no easy and quick way to move forward. The best thing that you can do is to give yourself enough time and with patience and luck, you will be able to do it.
What if You Still Have Feelings for Him
It’s never easy to walk away from someone you care about, even if they’re no longer good for you. But sometimes it’s the only thing you can do. If you’re still hung up on someone who’s not good for you, distance yourself. Block their number, delete them from social media, and make sure you don’t run into them. The less contact you have with them, the easier it will be to move on.
It might be tough at first, but eventually you’ll start to forget about them and move on with your life. Don’t be tempted to contact them either – that will only prolong the healing process. Just focus on yourself and your own happiness, and eventually the pain will fade.