Just like physical abusers, emotional abusers also have one goal and that is to be in full control of the other person. In a relationship, it is normal to have some negative experiences every now and then. However, when things go overboard, there is a possibility that you are already the victim of emotional abuse.
To stay on the safe side, make sure you watch out for these ways on how to know if you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.
You Feel Like You are in Danger
The feeling of being threatened is one of the most common signs of being in an emotional abusive relationship. Ultimatums and threats are unfair schemes of controlling another person and putting that person in a helpless position.
Your partner could be threatening to cause harm not only to you but also your loved ones, your property, your possessions, or your pets. They might also threaten to contact the authorities and report your wrong deeds. They might even threaten you to hurt themselves every time you upset them.
These harmful threats are an effective way to control a victim with no need to use any actual physical violence.
Your Partner Tries to Detach You from Your Other Relationships
Some victims of emotional abuse reported that their partner tried preventing them from meeting friends and even family. Isolation seems to lay ground for abusive relationships.
Knowing the perspective of another person about your relationship might open your eyes so you can see what is really happening. For this reason, an abusive partner might do everything possible to ensure that your family and friends won’t be able to reach you.
Another possible scenario is where the abuser portrays you to be the bad one hoping to turn your family again you.
Your Partner Constantly Blames Other People
If your partner is always blaming things on others, including you, it is not a very good sign at all. Every time your significant other attacks you verbally and throws a tantrum, they will claim that you were the reason for it. This is never a good sign of a healthy relationship when your partner doesn’t admit being in the wrong or doesn’t take responsibility at all.
You Come Up with Excuses for the Poor Behavior or Actions of Your Partner
You assume that your partner has personality disorder or feels depressed. Or you may also wonder if it was because of the difficult childhood that your partner has been through. While these things could be true, it doesn’t give them any right to treat you badly, especially if it has been happening for some time.
Your Partner Provokes You
If you have a healthy relationship, your partner knows and recognizes any insecurity you might have and stay away from them as much as possible. However, in emotionally abusive relationships, your partner will exploit these insecurities and even try to goad you. By making you lose your composure so you feel unsure of yourself, your weaknesses get exposed and the abuser will have an easier time to establish their dominance and control over you.
Your Partner Hurts You but You Feel Sorry for Them Instead
Emotional abusers are expert manipulators. They can hurt you again and again and still make you feel that it was your fault or it is something they can’t help because of their past relationship or childhood. They will feel hurt over things you did or said or things you didn’t say or do at all. Whatever it is, you still feel sorry for your partner. Emotional abuse victims sometimes overlook the behavior of their partner since they relate with the abuser’s hurt or that side of your partner that feels abandoned, rejected, or lost.
Your Partner’s Affection is Unpredictable
If you fail to agree or follow your partner, they get hostile, irritated or might even withdraw their affection completely. They love you if you follow what they want and if you don’t, they will become detached or cold or even angry and aggressive. For them, affection is a tool for exploiting and controlling you. You feel that you have to be extra careful every time you deal with them so that you don’t upset, enrage, or offend them in any way. Being in an emotionally abusive relationship makes you feel like you are walking on eggshells around your partner.
Your Partner Comments on Your Looks Negatively
Attraction is one of the most important aspects of romantic relationships. If your partner comments negatively about you, there is a high chance that they want you to feel less attractive and more insecure so you will lose your confidence and make you feel that you don’t deserve their love.
Your Partner Uses Hand Gestures for Communication
By hand gestures, these don’t mean those cute heart signs to show you their love. Emotionally abusive people will wave their hands to shoo you outside the room. This kind of communication is dismissive and lacks respect. Of course, you deserve a partner who will use words instead to communicate well with you.
Your Partner Has Access to Your Phone
An emotional abusive partner will take not of your passwords, constantly check your social media accounts, goes through your text messages and even force you to turn on your GPS to track you wherever you go. This is considered digital abuse that also falls under the category of emotional abuse. You might also have a digitally abusive partner if they get furious if you don’t instantly reply to their chat or if they send or ask you to send explicit photos.
Your Partner Gas Lights You
Does your partner makes up conversations that didn’t even take place? Do you often question your memory? Are you wondering some things really happened before? Gas lighting is a technique where the victim is presented with false information so that they will end up doubting their own perceptions, memories and finally, their sanity.
The purpose of gas lighting is to confuse the victim so that the abuser will maintain power and control. If you always question your memories, you will tend to depend more on your partner so you just stay in the relationship even if it is already toxic.
The best kinds of relationships are those that nurture your body, mind, and emotions. Never stay in a relationship that robs you of the chance to be happy and satisfied in your own being.