For the longest time, you were probably told that you should never go to bed angry. But, is this really true? While conflicts should be avoided in any relationship as much as possible, sometimes, dozing it off is a much better decision than adding fuel to the fire.
Here are the most common reasons why sometimes, it is okay to go to bed angry:
A Problem Now Might No Longer Be a Problem the Next Day
It is very likely that you will wake up the following morning not bothered about the anger you felt the previous night. Small conflicts that are not worth the fight will be completely forgotten after getting a good night’s rest.
If in case you are still angry the next morning, it only means that the issue has a strong impact on you. You can talk things out again with a clearer mind and fresher perspective that can ultimately lead to a better solution.
It Clears Your Mind
Giving yourself the chance to sleep is a great means of clearing your mind and getting a whole new outlook on what is happening around you. If you and your partner have lesser hours of quality sleep, you will only act more hostile towards each other as compared to when at least one of you decides to sleep more.
If a person is deprived of sleep, the tendency is that the argument goes round and round in circles since both or one of the partners fail to see where the other person is coming from. A couple choosing not to go to bed angry will only have a hard time sleeping at all.
On the other hand, couples who set aside the argument first and decide to sleep it out first might find that after waking up, they can look at the argument from a different perspective. This way, the discussion or argument becomes smoother and easier than before.
Many Things are Just Worse During Nighttime
Nighttime has this ability of making things feel worse than they really are. You had a long day, you feel tired, and your emotions are running everywhere. For this reason, your anger and your emotions can easily go out of control simply because you are tired.
In situations like these, you will be better off to go to bed angry and get your much needed rest and just address the issue the following day when you feel rested. Remind yourself and let your partner know that nighttime is not a great time for making decisions and sorting things out. The two of you should also agree that you just need to let things go in the meantime.
You are Too Worked Up
Every time you are involved in a conflict, your body automatically goes into the fight or flight mode. In flight, your heart rate is increased as well as your stress hormones while preventing you from having rational thoughts. Meaningful conversations are impossible and you just don’t try to solve the problem if your body is in full flight mode.
Once you recognize this, look for a way to soothe yourself. You can take a shower, go for a walk, meditate, or better yet, sleep. If your anger got the best of you already, sleep could be the perfect way to repair your body, especially when it is already late at night.
Stress Only Adds Up If You Work Against the Clock
The stress involved in the argument will only reach greater heights if you know that your partner has an early start the next day or has a very important meeting. Realizing that the crucial REM sleep has already slipped out of your hands will only make you feel more stressed out and will never help solve the issue any further. Any solution you come up with is possibly just temporary so you it would be best to just go to bed.
Staying awake until midnight to resolve the fight will only make you feel exhausted the next day, resulting to more resentment. Go to bed instead to break this cycle.
Sometimes, A Solution Doesn’t Really Exist
Yes, not all arguments need a so-called closure. There are instances when you just need to agree to disagree over something. This shouldn’t be done throughout your relationship, though, but you have to know if a stop is really worth the fight or not. Will the argument continue to affect you even after a week? Is it a trivial concern that you can just set aside? By letting go of frivolous emotions, you will be able to focus instead of more critical aspects of the relationship.
You Don’t Want to Say or Do Something You Will Only Regret
Lack of sleep affects how you interpret things. It can hurt your ability of making sound judgments since you cannot assess the situation nor act on them the right way.
Staying up longer to argue will only make the argument worse because you will get cranky and end up saying or doing things just to end the fight without realign solving the problem.
You are Drunk
Being drunk will only worsen the conflict as this will slow decrease your inhibitions, not to mention that you are no longer clearheaded as how you want to be. Arguments after having a few drinks can lead to strange and even destructive places. The best choice is to sleep it off and allow the conversation to rest. Drinking will only make you more sensitive and increase your emotional reaction time. So, take a deep breath, drink some water and discuss the conflict again the next morning.
Stated above are just some of the reasons why it is okay to go to bed angry. Make sure you remember them and apply them whenever possible. More importantly, make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to respecting each other’s time and having good and sensible communication. Even if you feel angry, don’t forget that sometimes, it would be best to just get some Z’s.