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Is Your Husband a Selfish Jerk or a Full-Blown Narcissist?

Is Your Husband a Selfish Jerk or a Full-Blown Narcissist?

Dealing with a selfish or narcissistic husband can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. However, it can be difficult to differentiate between the two. While both may exhibit similar behaviors, there are distinct differences between selfishness and narcissism. Understanding these differences is crucial in determining the best course of action to take. In this blog, we will explore the signs of selfishness and narcissism, how to tell the difference, and provide tips on how to deal with each.

Understanding Selfishness and Narcissism

Selfishness and narcissism are two terms that are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same.

Selfishness is defined as an individual’s concern for their own interests or welfare without regard for others. A selfish husband may put his needs above his partner’s and may not consider their feelings or desires when making decisions. They may be unwilling to compromise and may exhibit behaviors that are self-centered or inconsiderate.

On the other hand, narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration. A narcissistic husband may have an inflated sense of self-importance and may believe they are superior to others. They may seek constant validation and attention and may lack empathy for their partner’s feelings or needs.

While there may be some overlap in behavior between a selfish husband and a narcissistic husband, the motivations behind their actions are different. A selfish husband may simply be thoughtless or inconsiderate, while a narcissistic husband has a personality disorder that impacts their behavior and relationships.

Signs that Your Husband is Selfish

If you suspect that your husband may be selfish, there are some signs that you can look out for. These may include:

Disregard for Your Interests

Your husband may only be concerned with his own wants and needs, and may not consider how his actions impact you. For example, he may spend money on himself without consulting you or may make plans without considering your schedule or preferences.

Inconsiderate Behavior

A selfish husband may exhibit behavior that is thoughtless or inconsiderate towards you. For example, he may leave messes around the house for you to clean up, or may not offer to help with household chores or childcare. He may also make decisions that affect you without consulting you first.

What Will You Pick?

The choice you make will reveal your personality

Lack of Communication

A selfish husband may not be willing to engage in open and honest communication, and may not be interested in resolving conflicts or issues in the relationship. He may avoid talking about difficult topics or may become defensive when you bring up your concerns.

Taking Credit for Your Accomplishments

A selfish husband may be more interested in boosting his own ego than acknowledging your achievements. For example, he may take credit for something that you did or may not acknowledge your hard work and contributions to the relationship.

Signs that Your Husband Is a Narcissist

Narcissistic behavior can be more difficult to identify than selfish behavior, as it is often characterized by more subtle and insidious traits. Here are some signs that your husband may be a narcissist:


A narcissistic husband may believe that he is superior to others and may have an exaggerated sense of his own importance and abilities. He may constantly talk about his achievements, talents, or successes and may expect others to recognize and praise him for his accomplishments. He may also feel entitled to special treatment and privileges.

Lack of Empathy

A narcissistic husband may have difficulty understanding or caring about the feelings or needs of others, including you. He may dismiss your concerns or belittle your emotions, and may not be able to see things from your perspective. He may also lack the ability to take responsibility for his actions, and may blame others for problems in the relationship.

Need for Admiration

A narcissistic husband may crave attention and admiration from others, including you. He may expect you to constantly affirm his worth and may become angry or upset if he feels that he is not getting enough attention or praise. He may also be preoccupied with his appearance and may spend a lot of time and money on grooming or clothing.

Manipulative Behavior

A narcissistic husband may use manipulative tactics to control you and the relationship. He may gaslight you, making you doubt your own perceptions or memories, or he may use guilt or shame to get what he wants. He may also use emotional blackmail or threats to keep you under his control.

Lack of Accountability

A narcissistic husband may struggle to take responsibility for his actions or mistakes. He may shift blame onto others or make excuses for his behavior, rather than acknowledging his faults. He may also deny or minimize the impact of his actions on others, including you.

How to Tell the Difference

While selfishness and narcissism can share some similar traits, there are some key differences between the two that can help you distinguish between the two. Selfishness tends to be more situational and can come from a place of ignorance or thoughtlessness, whereas narcissism is a personality disorder and is characterized by a pattern of behavior over time.

Here are some additional ways to tell the difference between selfishness and narcissism:


Selfish behavior often comes from a lack of awareness or consideration for others, while narcissistic behavior is driven by a need for admiration, attention, and control. For example, a husband who is habitually late for dinner because he doesn’t consider how it affects his family may be selfish, while a husband who insists on being the center of attention at all times may be narcissistic.


Selfish people may be capable of changing their behavior if they are made aware of the impact it has on others, while narcissistic individuals are often resistant to change and may be more concerned with maintaining their sense of superiority. For example, a husband who is selfish in the sense that he always chooses what he wants to do may be willing to compromise and make an effort to consider his partner’s needs. A narcissistic husband, on the other hand, may refuse to compromise and may insist on always having his way.


Selfish behavior may cause inconvenience or frustration for others, while narcissistic behavior can cause significant emotional harm and abuse. For example, a husband who is selfish in the sense that he forgets important dates or events may cause disappointment or annoyance, while a narcissistic husband may belittle and demean his partner or gaslight her into doubting her own perceptions.


Selfish people may lack empathy in certain situations, but may be capable of empathy and caring in other areas of their life. Narcissistic individuals generally lack empathy across the board and may struggle to recognize or care about the feelings and needs of others. For example, a husband who is selfish in the sense that he forgets to pick up groceries may be capable of feeling remorse and making amends, while a narcissistic husband may be incapable of truly empathizing with his partner’s emotions and needs.

Can a Person Be Both Selfish and Narcissistic?

Yes, a person can exhibit both selfish and narcissistic traits. In fact, there is often some overlap between the two, as both traits involve a focus on one’s own needs and desires over those of others. However, it’s important to note that there are differences between the two, with narcissism being a more extreme form of self-focus and often involving a lack of empathy for others. Additionally, while selfishness can be situational or occasional, narcissism tends to be a pervasive and consistent trait that affects many areas of a person’s life.

Can Children Be Negatively Affected by Growing up With a Selfish or Narcissistic Father?

Yes, children can be negatively affected by growing up with a selfish or narcissistic father. Such behavior can create an unhealthy family dynamic that can lead to emotional, psychological, and even physical harm to children.

A selfish or narcissistic father may prioritize his own needs over the needs of his children, which can lead to neglect or abandonment. He may also be emotionally unavailable, unable to provide support or guidance, and may have difficulty empathizing with his children’s feelings or needs. Additionally, a narcissistic father may view his children as extensions of himself and may expect them to meet his unrealistic expectations and demands, which can create a highly stressful and unhealthy environment for children.

Growing up in a family with a selfish or narcissistic father can lead to a range of negative outcomes for children, including low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, difficulty forming healthy relationships, and even physical health problems. Children may also struggle with feelings of anger, resentment, or guilt towards their father, which can lead to further emotional distress.


Identifying whether your husband is selfish or a narcissist can be a difficult task, but it is important for your mental and emotional well-being. Selfishness and narcissism can cause significant harm to a relationship, and it is crucial to take the necessary steps to address these issues. By recognizing the signs, seeking professional help, and following the tips provided, you can work towards creating a healthier and happier relationship. Remember, taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your partner.

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