First dates are downright awkward. If you have ever been to one, you know how it feels like you are trying to scrutinize your date to know if you have a connection or not. Especially in this modern day of dating apps, first dates have become far too different from traditional human interactions that there is simply no way to predict how things will go.
However, there are instances when you can instantly tell that something is wrong. If you want to avoid becoming a victim of first date horror stories, make sure you look out for these first date red flags that will tell you that you should be running away from your date as soon as you can:
Your Date Was Late
Yes, traffic can be very unpredictable and other things might pop out of nowhere. However, if your date showed up late, you will be left wondering if they are really committed to the date if they are already late for the first one.
If they arrived late in your meeting place, chances are they are also sluggish with others. It could mean something such as when chasing goals. If they are always late, there is a possibility that they are not as aspiring as you expect and want them to be.
Your Date Doesn’t Show Any Effort at All
Is your date punctual, clean, and presentable? Every person may have their own unique styles and preferences. Some might have tattoos while others want to have their hair colored in different hues. These are personal preferences that everyone is entitled to. But, are they wearing clean clothes? Do they give off the impression that they actually made an effort before showing up for the date?
If they do, this only shows that they not only respect themselves but they also respect you. As you know, it is very important to date someone who shows this much respect.
If they don’t make any effort on your first date, you can’t expect them to make the same effort in the course of your relationship.
You Feel Like You are Being Interviewed for a Job
If your date asks you to recite your academic achievements, your professional plans, your affirmations, and your visions in your career, you might want to stop right there and then.
When you feel like you are at a job interview and you are being made to feel that you have to prove your value and worth to your date, this is the kind of judgment that you don’t need and deserve in your life.
Your Date Treats the Servers Rudely
Is your date rude to the waiter while placing the order or do they have a friendly banter with the receptionist while you were waiting for an empty table? How someone treats others speaks so much about the person. Do they treat you nicely only to be curt to others? Are they kind to other people? The interaction that your date has with others will give you an idea about their behavior when the lovey-dovey phase has faded away and they start showing their real self.
Your Date isn’t Great in Handling Differences in Opinion
During your first date, it is advisable to look closely at how the person handles different opinions about topics such as books, music, movies, and such. If you love sci-fi flicks but your date makes fun of you for liking them, then, you know something is wrong there. If this is how your date reacts to a difference in opinion over such a trivial matter, you can just imagine how the two of you might end up disagreeing on a more critical topic, such as finances.
Your Date Badmouths Their Past Relationships
You might also want to listen how your date talks about their ex. You don’t have to worry if they discuss their previous relationship and hold themselves partly accountable for why the relationship has gone sour. It would even be better if they share with you the lessons they learned and discovered themselves during the process. This can give you more assurance that they are serious about growing and learning as a person.
On the other hand, if they only bash or blame their ex, there is a chance that they will also do that to you if a conflict arises between the two of you and you end up parting ways. Remember that first dates should be a time of showing the best side of you but if your date uses this time to badmouth their ex, better run away as far as you can.
Your Date Constantly Uses Their Phone
Do you feel like you are competing with your date’s phone for their attention? It is no longer a secret that smartphones are now a staple part of people’s lives. You always take them anywhere you go. You have them with you when meeting with your friends.
However, during a date, and a first one at that, this kind of behavior should be set aside in the meantime for the sake of courtesy and good manners. Proper phone etiquette on dates means no quick calls, texts or Google search during such a critical moment. Take note that this is the very first time that the two of you are meeting so if you cannot pay attention to each other, that’s never a good sign. If your date keeps glancing and checking at their phone, there’s a chance that they are not taking the date seriously.
Your Date Got Too Drunk
It is normal to experience first date jitters and more often than not, a glass of wine is all it takes to get rid of them. However, if your date got too many drinks than what they can handle, you know that a second date is simply out of the question.
Yes, first dates tend to be a bit nerve wracking but knowing to look out for these first date red flags can help you ensure that you don’t waste your time on the wrong people.