Enrich Love

What to Do When You Hate Your Wife

Growing up, you have probably been told again that family and marriage are sacred. You were told to fight for your love no matter what. These are almost definite rules that when you go against them, people are quick to judge you.

Husbands are told to always cherish and adore their wives. But, what if one day, you wake up to find yourself hating your wife? What will you do about this negative feeling?

Below are a few things to give you a good idea on what to do when you hate your wife so you can see her and your marriage as a whole in a brand new light with a brand new perspective.

Start to Make Necessary Changes in Your Marriage

Remember that it takes two to tango. You can never make any change if you are just one half of the relationship. Forget the manipulation tricks and just talk to her about your desire of making changes in the relationship. The best way of approaching the idea of change is to be honest right from the get-go. It doesn’t mean that you should let her know about the hate that you feel for her, though. You can never take back these words. It is better to approach this situation by telling her that you feel that your marriage can use some improvement.

Schedule Date Nights

Schedule Date Nights

There is a big chance that you date your wife regularly when the two of you first started dating. These dates could have been once every week or several times a week, with both of you making an effort to get to know each other. Things were new and exciting back then.

But now, you got a lot of roles and responsibilities that it is impossible to have a date night every week. This one is pretty normal. You are not only a husband because you are also a father, an employee, a homeowner, a son, and so forth. How will you juggle your time with all of thee and still schedule a regular date night?

The answer is simple – both you and your wife should make time for it. This can be once every month to have a quick escape from the rest of your obligations. What is important here is for you to make your date nights your priority for your relationship with your wife to also be a priority. Never reschedule or even cancel date night. This should be a standing date with the equal importance as picking up your kids after school.

There is a chance that you only think that you hate your wife since the two of you are no longer spending enough time together. Just like you, your wife might have also been stretched thin with all her roles and responsibilities and needs a date night to be able to connect with you all over again. Date each other so you can get to know each other once again and you might be shocked with the results.

Start a New Hobby Together

Do you no longer find joy in the things that you used to enjoy with your spouse? Maybe you have grown tired or grown out of a particular hobby or you lost interest so the connection has been cut as well. It can also be that the two of you simply lack time for it. Whatever the reason might be, starting a brand new hobby with your spouse can create a new space in which the two of you can rediscover your connection over something different.

Start a New Hobby Together

Why not start painting, attend dance classes, or go mountain climbing? If you are not sure about the hobby you should start, you can try new things one or two times a month to discover something that will stick. Several brand new doors can open even with just one new hobby you can share together.

The hobby you choose doesn’t really matter because what is important is for both of you to actually like and enjoy it. Bonding and having a great time together might even make you realize that you don’t really hate your wife because you just hated the fact that you don’t have anything to share anymore. When you develop new interests together, it will be easier for you to take the necessary steps to improve your marriage.

Try to Become a Better Version of Yourself

You will become better yourself as you deal with your own stressors and try to see your wife in a different way than what you might have perceived. There are some other things that you can do to become an updated version of yourself. It is likely that the hate you feel for your wife comes from the fact that you actually hate yourself. Take one step back and evaluate yourself. What changes can you make to become better?

If you hate your average job that you applied for so you can spend more time with your family, look for jobs that align with your experience and have the same schedule. It is also important to have your own activities and hobbies as well.

Striving to become a better person offers a long list of benefits but at the end of the day, this might make you realize that you don’t really hate your wife.

Attend Counseling

If all else fails, it might be time for the time of you to attend marital counseling. After the initial session, the counselor might recommend separate sessions for the two of you to work on your individual selves and on your relationship. There are two persons in the relationship after all. As you get to remember your own individuality while you try to make efforts to make your marriage better, you might discover that you don’t actually hate your wife.

Hate is such a very strong feeling and thinking that you hate your wife can mean trouble. But, as long as you take time to assess yourself and your situation, it is possible that you will soon learn that what you feel wasn’t really hate in the first place.