Enrich Love

What to Do when Your Wife Is Not Affectionate

In any marriage, both partners need to feel loved and cherished. Often, one of the first places that this feeling starts to deteriorate is in the level of affection shown by each person. After all, it’s not just about sex – affection is a whole range of behaviors that show care, appreciation, and admiration. It’s important to remember that every couple is different, and there is no magic number for how much affection is “enough.” However, if you are feeling neglected or unloved by your partner, it may be time to have a conversation about what you both need to feel loved and connected.

what to do when your wife is not affectionate

What It Feels Like when Your Wife Is Not Affectionate

When your wife is not affectionate, it can feel like a personal rejection. You may feel hurt, disappointed, and even resentful. If you’re used to being physically affectionate with each other, the lack of affection can be especially confusing and upsetting.

It’s important to remember that every couple is different and there is no “right” amount of affection. Some couples are more physically demonstrative than others and that’s perfectly normal. Just because your wife isn’t as affectionate as you’d like doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship.

That said, if you’re feeling deprived of physical affection, it’s important to communicate with your wife about how you’re feeling. She may not be aware that her lack of affection is bothering you.

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The Causes of A Lack of Affection from Your Wife

A lack of affection from your wife can be caused by a variety of things. It could be that she is feeling overwhelmed and stressed from work or other commitments. It could be that she is dealing with some personal issues that are causing her to withdraw. Or, it could simply be that she isn’t feeling well physically.

If you are concerned about a lack of affection from your wife, the best thing to do is to talk to her about it. See if there is anything going on in her life that might be causing her to pull away. If she’s dealing with something stressful, see if there is anything you can do to help lighten her load. And, if she’s not feeling well physically, make sure she’s getting the medical attention she needs.

Most importantly, show her patience and understanding. She will come around when she’s ready.

How to Approach the Topic with Your Wife

It can be difficult when you feel like your wife is not as affectionate as she used to be, or as affectionate as you would like her to be. Here are a few tips on how to approach the topic with your wife:

  • Talk about how you’re feeling in a non-accusatory way. For example, you could say “I’ve been feeling really lonely lately and I was hoping for some more affection from you.” This will help start the conversation without putting your wife on the defensive.
  • Listen to what she has to say about why she may not be as affectionate as she used to be, or as affectionate as you would like her to be. It’s important to understand her perspective and see if there are any underlying issues that can be addressed.
  • If your wife is willing, come up with some ways to make her more affectionate. For example, you could schedule regular date nights and give each other a kiss before you go to sleep.
  • If you’ve been able to talk about your needs, schedule time together to make it happen. Time is the key ingredient in any relationship, and if you can make the time for the affection and romance that you want, your marriage will reap the rewards!

Ideas to Increase Affection in Your Marriage

When it comes to ways to increase affection in your marriage, there are a few key things to keep in mind. First, it’s important to remember that affection is not just about sex. It’s about all the little moments and gestures that show your partner you care. Second, don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your spouse to be perfect. Everyone has different love languages, so what works for one couple may not work for another. Lastly, be creative and have fun with it! Trying new things can help keep the spark alive in any relationship.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • Plan special date nights where you can focus on quality time together without distractions like work or kids.
  • Be thoughtful. Send a sweet card or surprise your spouse with a fun gift.
  • Go the extra mile and take care of things around the house that are usually your spouse’s responsibility like getting groceries, taking out the trash, or cleaning up after dinner.
  • Don’t take each other for granted. Say thank you and I love you often.
  • Compliment your spouse daily.
  • Have fun with the little things like being silly or silly faces, playing games, and laughing together more often than not.
  • Take a break and do something fun together, like going to a movie or the park, or playing tennis.
  • Be affectionate by hugging and holding hands more often.
  • Do things together like going for a walk, taking a trip somewhere special, or enjoying time with friends.
  • Be there for each other emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
  • Save money for a small vacation or weekend getaway once or twice a year.
  • Take time to go out together without the kids (or even without the pets).


In conclusion, when your wife is not affectionate, it is important to communicate with her and try to understand why she is not feeling affectionate. It is also important to express your own needs for affection. If you are both willing to work on the issue, it is possible to improve your relationship and make it more fulfilling for both of you.

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